The Beggar-King of Ithaca

They ask Irus, Old Beggar, to kill Odysseus, New Beggar. It's like a cock fight, but then Dwayne shows up again and reveals his "rippling thighs" (76-81). Like Brennick. Then he wins. WHICH SHOULD PROBABLY TIP OFF THE SUITORS. Buuut they're pretty stupid. Which, by the way, is supported by the fact that they didn't realize, for three years, that Penelope was tricking them by unraveling Laertes' shroud. Duh.

This girl from my work, when she saw what I was reading, agrees that Fagles' translation is really funny. It's so... frank. Like lines 18.100-101. Cripes. And suddenly! There is foul language! and wenches (362-381)! And baldness (400-403)!

Also, more thrown stools (444). What is that? Is that a common mode of defense? Of releasing anger?

(I read through this stuff pretty quickly... so I don't have much to say, because I had to go through it again to write down some stuff. Sorry.)

Stranger at the Gates

I began to get rather into the story, and I didn't take notes so I could plow through a handful of the books, so sorry that my thoughts are... scattered and without purpose.

Telemachus has some tight friends who promise to keep his treasure for themselves if he gets offed. Knowing that the other option would be distributing it amongst the suitors, this is a pretty strong gesture of friendship. My thoughts then moved on to the fact that Greeks don't get an income just for being Greeks, and this must be why Odysseus was plundering all the time, and part of why people give guest gifts, and why everyone is handing out treasure... what goes around comes around. And foreign kings gave both Odysseus and Telemachus a boatload of golden goods, so now the whole family is super rich. Excellent.

Theoclymenus is the seer that Telemachus picked up, and now I understand why--they are more birds hanging around, and he translates this for Penelope or Telemachus or whoever is asking. No one believes him, but hey, Homer gave him a purpose in life.

17.185: Homer describes the suitors as being "full of swagger." 2011, you're not cool.

As Eumaeus and Odysseus walk to his mansion, one of the jerk suitors starts to beat up on Odysseus. Thankfully, he is built like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and cannot be moved (17.255-256).

Enter Argos, the loyal dog (17.317-360). Odysseus cries. Exit Argos, the loyal dog.

In lines 381, 385, and 646, three different characters tell Odysseus that "Bashfulness, for a man in need, is no great friend." Thinking today of people who stand in the Dunkin' Donuts' parking lot and ask you for $2, I get kind of freaked out, so speaking only about beggars in ancient Greece, I guess this makes total sense. Even strangers were almost like beggars--the whole Zeus thing meant that they should be welcomed, but really, they want a place to stay and food to eat. So bashfulness would not be good in that situation.

Due to lines 602-612, I laughed out loud. Telemachus sneezes, and it marks Penelope's words as true. GREEKS, I TELL YOU.

Antinous is jerk pretty much all the time, and he throws a stool at Odysseus (508-512). Who does that, really? But thankfully, Homer agrees with me in his description of Odysseus as "steady as a rock" (17.512). His amazing foresight meant that he wanted Dwayne to play Odysseus in a potential movie. He even has a sacrificial bull tattooed on his bicep.

Father and Son

It's rather distressing when Eumaeus greets Telemachus like a son upon his arrival, when his real father (Odysseus) is sitting feet away and is IGNORED. and he can't even say hello without sounding terribly awkward. I also find it interesting that he doesn't tear up at this moment, although later, when he glimpses his loyal dog Argos, he has to look away for the tears in his eyes.

BUT IT'S OKAY. Because moments later, Athena transforms Odysseus and reveals him to Telemachus, and they are geeking out and crying and saying, "No, YOU'RE a god!" and "No, I'm not!" It's a pretty dramatic and touching moment, and I'm glad Telemachus believes him, because I already know (thanks, introduction) that Penelope doesn't believe him at first. Anyway, Odysseus the Liar tells Telemachus to keep his secret, which doesn't make sense to me, because they're both extremely BA. otherwise known as BASICALLY ARETE or something. (how do you pronounce Arete?)

The suitors are all murdery and deceitful, and it's terrible, and I hoped that Telemachus wouldn't die, or else the whole story would be ruined. Thankfully, Bernard Knox ruined it for me, and I didn't get terribly anxious. However, in 436-449, Amphinomus is like, "Alright, yo, check it. Dark. Smoke. Let's not kill Telemachus." I appreciate that, and I'm sure Telemachus does, too.

The Prince Sets Sail for Home

Athena tells Telemachus about the ambush, which is helpful. Apparently she can do this because Poseidon doesn't hate him, only Odysseus.

Menelaus seems to be that really friendly kind of host that doesn't insist that you stay even though he IS insisting that you stay... (15.73-94). Later, his son assists Telemachus in escaping from Menelaus' hospitality, which is pretty humorous. It wasn't mean, but it was sort of like, "I need to go home now... help me out here, Bob." Although guest gifts are nice. Telemachus is now loaded.

EAGLING AGAIN (179-183). Helen interprets, which is handy, because it is only minutes before a prophet/murderer comes along and hitches a ride with Telemachus. Strange, and at the time, I was wondering what Homer was even doing with his life. It makes sense later.

In contrast with his cunning and lying and crafty father, Telemachus is extremely honest and clear-minded, and I like it. I rather prefer it.

Brief interlude to reminisce on Odysseus' family: Laertes is depressed, and Eumaeus grew up with Odysseus' mother and sister! Wow! people have families! I just learned that Stalin had a daughter. Strange stuff.

15.443: "Even too much sleep can be a bore."

Eumaeus, the loyal swineherd, was kidnapped. His life sucks. JOIN THE ODYSSEUS CLUB. But really, at first, all I was doing was picking on Homer and this translation and weird Greek customs, but now I'm pretty into the story and feeling pretty terrible for Eumaeus, who was taken from his lovely rich family by a band of pirates and wenches, and then enslaved by his master who then leaves for 20 years. This. is. dramatic. The literature gets rather advanced, too, as Homer switches between father and son... it's like a movie, or a TV show, where the book/chapter ends right as Telemachus reaches Eumaeus' house, where Odysseus waits...

588-592: Birds again.

The Loyal Swineherd

... which makes me think of The Sound of Music.

Basically, Odysseus lies to his most faithful servant, and everyone from the swineherd to the swine to me believes it. It's full of exile and death, which is true to his real life, but full of falsehoods and fallacies that made me go, "wow, bummer," even though I KNEW IT WASN'T REAL. ODYSSEUS. CRIPES.

I know lying saved him from the Cyclops, and some other stuff, but I don't see why that's something to be lauded otherwise.

Eumaeus, the swineherd, is narrated in the second person. Homer probably sang about him like this so that it would work metrically--it happens more than once, so it must be one of the lines he reused frequently to fit in--but it's irregular and interesting. It's the only place in the entire book (that I've noticed, and that wasn't while someone was speaking) where the second person is used. As an example, 14. 502: You replied in kind, Eumaeus...

Anyway, then Odysseus tells a long lie just for a cloak. Eumaeus is pretty boss and probably would have just given it to him if he had asked. Again, I don't understand why that's necessary.

14.477: porker

Ithaca at Last

Alcinous and Arete are really nice. I like her name, now that I know what it means. It sounds fitting for her, because she's pretty great. It seems like the Phaeacians are pretty spectacular.

Now that you explained a lot of stuff, and I'm trying to keep a cap on my obvious Christianity > Greek stuff thoughts, I don't have much to say.

Zeus tells Poseidon to "do what he likes" in 13.158-180. That is lame. Also it is to be expected with the gods, who are lame and do whatever they want. It's annoying that Poseidon is punishing the Phaeacians for being NICE, although of course they would have a prophecy about it.

Odysseus sleeps on the shore like a beached whale, plus treasure. Athena arrives and he lies to her about his heritage, because she looks like a shepherd boy or something. I wonder why he does it--it seems like a protective mechanism, because his life sucks, and he doesn't want anyone else to hate on him or try to eat him or anything. That's confusing, too, because everyone loves him. He's all wily and strong... what's not to like? But Athena just laughs at him, which is funny, and then she gets all flirty. And helps him by revealing Ithaca and the life stories of his family. Yus.

Sorry my word choices suck. Just like Odysseus' life. He wakes up on Ithaca, and his immediate thoughts are, "Those damn Phaeacians screwed me over!" And he actually does swear about them. But this thought makes sense, because really, his past has been absolute rubbish. Bummer.

The Cattle of the Sun (or Odysseus' Style is Cramped)

Circe just knows everything. Like Tiresias. Warnings are good, but they also give away the story. Foreshadowing... Is Scylla like a hydra? My knowledge of these creatures are pretty limited. Pretty much to video game references. ... lame.

12.134-136: "No, row for your lives, invoke Brute Force, I tell you, Scylla's mother--she spawned her to scourge mankind, she can stop the monster's next attack!" Does this mean that Scylla can be killed? Her mother can kill her? This is pretty interesting.

I also find it interesting that the Sungod, Helios, isn't more important. Ra was pretty important, and it seems like the sun should be... important. At least we get some cool words from Helios' name.

12.167-180: It's nice of Odysseus to actually tell his crew what's going on. I had some notes on how it seemed like he didn't communicate that well, which might have been the cause of the random mutinies... but here he does, and they STILL end up mutinying.

It's surprising that the Sirens don't have a bigger role in the story. They seem rather famous--I'm sure they're in other things than just The Odyssey, but this book is what I think of when I think about them. And they don't even have a whole page! There are also some Christian parallels with those guys. Girls. Sin sounds really great, and fun, and beautiful, like the sirens. FALSE. Odysseus really wants to listen to them, and go to them, but his crew has beeswax in their ears... so I guess we just have to use Bible beeswax and ignore it.

This book is good, I suppose, because it's really annoying me that Odysseus' men are being so stupid. It reminds me of those times when you read something embarrassing, and you feel flustered and you almost don't want to find out what happens next, which is an example of some of the criteria I use to determine whether or not something is 'good' (not morally speaking). I hope that makes sense. ANYWAY, the crew is really frustrating. Good going, you idiots, now you're all dead. How many times were you told to ignore the cattle of the sun?

Then Odysseus is done with the story! And it's shorter than I thought! But he's still in the middle, like so many Frankensteins, so we've got time.

Best quote fragment of the entire book: "cramping my style" (12.246).