Bacon, cheese, whipped cream and pickles

Dear Keaton,

I like to sleep in.*

Well, that's completely true, but from that thought, we can go down two separate paths--one, that my schedule will be much more flexible, and two, the subject of my fatness.

When I went to a "regular" school, I woke up obscenely early (although not as early as girls who needed to, I don't know, brush their hair), slept or vaguely studied on the fifteen minute trip to school, and often spent most of the day half-asleep and doodling Alice Liddell in the margins of my advanced algebra notes. On those rare occasions where I participated in an interesting extra-curricular activity--such as stage managing--I would get home around 5:30 or 6pm; when I didn't, it was usually 3:30. The short afternoons and evenings consisted of convincing myself that my homework wouldn't take very long, even when it obviously would (please see Scieszka and Smith's fable, "Grasshopper Logic," from Squids will be Squids**). Point of interest: drawing an eight-generation family tree does not take half an hour. But I digress.

I didn't hate school, but mornings usually threw off my groove. Not eating breakfast can stunt your energy levels for the rest of the day, and attempting to be in a higher-level language class at 7:40am is not my cup of tea (although I often did drink tea in the mornings). Though I was tired, I did learn very much, and I was blessed in getting to see my friends daily. However, even when I arrived home mid-afternoon--as opposed to early evening--there were activities I wasn't able to do. Often my family was preoccupied--Temish had catechism twenty-five minutes away, or my mom took night classes at Concordia. I couldn't visit the art museum and spend hours meandering and taking notes. I couldn't use the midday sunlight for the correct lighting to draw at my desk. I couldn't make it to the bank and the store. I couldn't clean for my old neighbor before she got home from work. I couldn't visit my sister at college. I was weary (although possibly from poor eating and sleeping habits). I had homework. I didn't have time to read.

Most people can use that schedule, and well. Schedules are useful. I like them. They're helpful. I just didn't enjoy that particular one. I do like sleeping in.* End exposition.

As a homeschooler, there are about four million more options. Take a painting class at Michaels. Volunteer at the art museum. Teach myself piano. Use my teacher-y relatives to learn more. Use their intelligent, homeschooled friends. Use my own intelligent, homeschooled friends to learn more. Exchange one hour of learning French for one hour of doing art with a four-year-old. Work mornings. Stage manage shows for the Milwaukee Youth Theatre (hopefully!). Babysit weekly for two of the cutest children ever. Visit my scattered siblings. Make Temish write a page about narwhals. Memorize Africa. Run at 10 every morning. Write letters. Teach myself to cook. Read. Learn what I what, when I want, as quickly as I can learn it. Brilliant. Homeschooling = wizard = brick.

The fatness is a double-edged sword. Double-edged adipose cell. I love to sleep in, and sleep can be good for me. I might even be able to sleep long enough to match my body's needs. (I'm a growing girl.) If I'm not sleeping, I can still languish in my bed and read Spirituality of the Cross or something with similar levels of awesomeness. I can wear my pajamas and learn trigonometry. However, that same obesity will probably block my motivation from sight. That motivation is learning. (Fat < learning.) If I become distressingly lazy (which is... an obesibility), I would get angry, and someone--possibly myself as well--would have ssslap me ssso sssuper hard.

Therefore, to avoid getting slapped, and to avoid hating myself for all eternity because I'm lazier than a three-toed sloth (who only climb out of their trees to pee, which--exchanging 'tree' for 'bed'--could probably be me some days), I hope to improve my totally lame motivational and productivity skills. Maybe I'll complete projects EVERY SINGLE DAY, and the result will be becoming intelligent, organized, and assertive. And maybe I'll use less parentheses.

AND THERE'S MORE! Those are merely amazing bonuses on the side. The subject matter is also incredible--I mentioned some when I spoke on the flexibility. I could learn French, and I could also learn Greek and carry on with Spanish. I could learn to paint, and use this drawing book that I have to learn to draw realistically, with shading and contours and real... stuff... Stuff I can't yet describe, because I haven't read the book yet. Mom has history books--two or more--and there are science textbooks, and math textbooks, and plenty of grammar-type books so that I can learn every single nuance of the English language. (Another point of interest: did you know that the Oxford comma was officially stated to be unnecessary? This is complete rubbish. That comma is as necessary as an epiglottis... WHICH IS IMPORTANT.) I have friends who have materials for AP Language, AP Psychology,*** and Pre-Calculus.

While on the topic of Pre-Calculus, let me lead in to another stupendous reward of being homeschooled: you aren't limited. At all. So much of what I've said already feeds into that one sentence. You aren't limited. In a "regular" school, you have four years and roughly thirty-two classes--less if you take a study hall. As a homeschooler, in my one final year of school, I can take Pre-Calculus... and Calculus. I can take French... and German and Greek and Spanish and Italian. I can study medieval history and specifically Irish history. I can study painting and drawing. To be homeschooled is to be versatile. I can learn at my own pace, whether it be slow or quick.

The last point is, perhaps, the most wonderful. Mom has always said it was part of why she homeschooled us. In "regular" school you learn facts: the surface area of one's lungs is about the size of a tennis court. In "regular" school you learn methods: FOIL. It's not that one can't learn more... but generally one doesn't. And it's not that those are bad, either! Oh, no. Those are tremendous and useful and lend to increasing the power of the incredible brain God created. But when learning isn't restricted by schedules and classes, there's so much more to be discovered. Creativity, ideas, and imagination: learning to think.

*does this count as ending a sentence in a preposition? I think it seems okay in this situation.
**I can type it up if anyone cares to read it.
*** example of the much-loved Oxford comma. You know why it's so important? "I love to eat bacon, cheese, whipped cream and pickles." IT LOOKS LIKE I ENJOY PICKLES AND WHIPPED CREAM TOGETHER.

P.S. I already discovered your little Facebook link scam. Not that I was tempted by Facebook... but I was certain that it wouldn't actually go to Facebook, so I clicked to see where it would ACTUALLY lead... tricksy little hobbitses.